What does it mean to find your “Self”? It’s about finding your true calling in life, almost like a rite of passage. Adam Nugent and Kate Strong have the opportunity to explore this further with Tony Gerber of Tribe of Passage. Tony creates unique and unforgettable experiences that help facilitate personal growth and transformation. What is positive masculinity? How we can express that in a way that is in alignment with what we want to create in life? This podcast explains all of this and more. Discover how to create the life and relationships you have always wanted in this week’s episode!
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In this podcast excerpt, Tony Gerber discusses some of the challenges men face today and how the definition of “masculine” impacts our society.
AN: What does it mean to be a masculine? What does it mean to be a male in the world today?
TG: What does it mean to be a man? How do you want to express your masculine values? Where did you get those values, and are those values really yours?
AN: What we’ve had multiple discussions with people on this podcast related to masculine and feminine energy. And in your journey with rites of passage and working with men, from your perspective, what does that look like?
TG: I think for most men, one of the most important things they can be is confident, right? How can you be confident if you don’t know what you stand for? How can you be confident if you don’t know what values you hold sacred to yourself? Are those your values or are they someone else’s and you feel like you’re living up to dad’s values? Those are the kinds of questions that I like to ask because at the end of the day, it, it doesn’t really matter whether we label it masculine or not. It’s like when people say, “How do you feel about toxic masculinity?” And I’m like, I don’t really know if it exists. I think toxic people exist. I think that sometimes we express ourselves in a way that one person might define as more feminine and one person might define as more masculine.
When I talk about our roles as men or women, just by saying the word “role,” we’re acknowledging that society has carved out an idea of how people should be. So, what does respect mean to you? If I’m talking to a man, I’ll say, “How do you respect women?” If I am talking to a woman, I’ll ask, “How do you show respect for men?”
And it’s very interesting because you’ll get different definitions depending on the gender. And so I believe masculinity is something you really do need to define for yourself. When we talk about evolutionary mismatch and how it relates to masculine and feminine values, here is a point I’ll make. . . .
If there is a guy that tells me, “Look, Tony, all I want to do is stay home and be the best dad possible. I love to taking care of kids and all of that kind of stuff.” If he’s intentional about that, and that’s his creation, I think that’s as much of an expression of masculinity as anything. . . .
But I also value the guy that is confident in going out and creating a business from scratch and ends up creating some huge magnificent business and makes a lot of money. But I would ask him, “Why are you doing it?” And if he can answer that and it’s in alignment with his core values, then that’s great. But if he goes and makes a whole bunch of money and his whole intent was, “Well, I thought guys were supposed to make a whole bunch of money and be awesome and powerful.” And he’s still unhappy at the end of the day, did it really serve him? I don’t think it did.
Visit tribeofpassage.com to learn more.
► You’ll also like: Episode 42: Your Full Life Components with Henry Ammar